A Hike Through Life

Throws his dice...

The BackyardPosted by Hike Mon, May 17, 2010 00:47:37
*braces for impact*

/Hike

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What goes up...

The BackyardPosted by Hike Fri, March 05, 2010 18:37:39
I've been planning on writing this post for so long now, and it have been through so many itterations, that I don't even remember what my original though with it was.
I was suppose to write about some of highlights from the last couple of months, aswell as some of the thoughts I've had.

For starters, I can say that I've felt good. Really, really good. But it's all overshadowed by what has unfolded during that last couple of days...

My mother has been on Cuba since the beginning of November last year. She took some time of from work to head down there and enjoy life while she still could. I was tasked with taking care of her appartment and finances while she was gone, and I tried to stay in touch with her as much as possible (not so easy since she doesn't have internet access readily available). So at end of January I got a e-mail from her, where she wrote that she was having a great time, but that she might need some additional money to be transfered to her card-account since she was moving (she had done this one time before).
I did as she asked and wrote back to tell her I did so. I also asked her if she had felt anything from the Haiti earthquake.
I also told her that I missed her, and that I looked forward to her comming home so she could continue to teach me dance Salsa.

A week went by, two weeks, a month, and no reply. I wasn't worried though, because each time it had taken a while for her to answer my e-mails. But when it drew closer to to the time when she said that she would return home and I still haven't heared anything I started to wonder. However, I didn't give it much though, I was living my own life and everything was awesome. She would notify me/us when she was about to return to get help with logistics.

But a couple of days ago, I recived a call from my dad, asking me if I've heard anything from a embasy in Denmark. I told him "No, why would I?" He then continued to tell me that an embasy in Denmark had called my brother, and transfered a call from Cuba. Apearently my mom was in a hospital.
That was all the details I got...
A couple of minutes later, my brother calls me and tells me that my mother suffered from a "Intracranial hemorrhage" (a sort of stroke, if you will). He also tells me that he's working on a way to go over to Cuba to see if it's possible to bring her home.
A couple of days later, we've been informed that my mother condition is stable, but it's still uncertain and my brother flies to Cuba together with a Swedish doctor. Three days later they all fly home and my mother is rushed to the hospital here in Malmö where I get to meet her.
It looked like she was sleeping... except she wasn't really. We tried to talk to her, and sometime she answered with nods and shaking her head, other times she was unresponsive. Atleast she managed to complete all the basic test the doctor did (follow the flashlight with your eyes, squeese his fingers and so on).

I visited her earlier today again. At times she seem somewhat ok, she could answer questions (among others she told that she have had a awesome time in Cuba). Other times... She seem to fall into that unresponsive sleep. Apearently something seems to be wrong with her balance aswell. Her motorfunctions is working, but she can hardly walk by herself. It would also seem that she hasn't been hospitalized in Cuba for only 4 days that we first thought, but more like 4 weeks. Which means that it was only a short period of time after I got my last e-mail from her...
Right now, we're waiting for lab results that clears her from any bacterial infections before they would start talking about rehabilitation.

And about how I'm handling it all..?
I'd say that my feelings more or less have shut down. I want to cry and scream but I can't. All I can do is put on a brave face and hope that she'll get better...


/Hike

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Resolve

The BackyardPosted by Hike Fri, January 01, 2010 19:34:06

Fuck me, what a night! I haven't danced that much since is was 17 :D This is probably the best new years celebration I've ever experienced! I was suppose to go what seem to be the most kick ass party ever, when it gets cancelled on the morning of NYE. Oh well, luckily one of my friends had invited me to his party, so about 10PM I headed over to pick up another friend and we went there. There we meet some known as well as some unknown faces, we talked, we laughed and so on. When the time was closing in on 12, we got ready to watch the fireworks and then to head on out to an underground club.
When we got at the club, we had to wait for like an half an hour before we got in since they opened up at 1 AM and not at 12. Some of people we went with were concerned that it wouldn't be much of crowed there. I told them not worry, since it was more likely that we wouldn't be able to get in if you wouldn't be there in time. :)
But yeah, we got in, scoped out the place, we took a seat around a table and chilled for like 10 minutes or. Then me and one friend got up on the now almost empty dance floor and started what would be a dancing marathon I haven't experienced since I started going on raves! XD
The first 2 hours the music (and DJs) were okey. So we took a brake from the dancing to get something to drink and stuff. But, then they put on what sounded very much like the intro of one my favourite songs I was like "Oh my God! I hope it's this song! I have to dance it is!" and I ran onto the now a lot more crowed dance floor. When I comfired that it WAS the song I thought it was, I ran back. "GUYS! WE HAVE TO DANCE TO THIS! IT'S THE BEST SONG!™" and dragged all of them with me and EVERYONE went totally nuts! The music was better, the DJs were a LOT better, everything was just awesome! We danced for another 2 hours before taking a break, and then another hour and a half after that.
My legs were killing me, and are killing me still since I worked out the day before NYE, focusing on my legs. Not the best of ideas. XD Anyway, this couldn't have been a better way to start of the new year for me, I had such a blast and I would like to thank all the people who shared that experience with me. ^^

Now, to what I originally planed to write about in this bloggpost. ^^

Since it's a new year, it requires that you make some new years resolutions. However, I've already started doing all the things that I want to last year, so I will instead to continue to these things we equal or greater resolve!
First: I've started going to the gym, and I plan to continue doing that at least 3 days per week. Aiming for the Beach 2010 ;)
Second: Continue with my self improvement/development. 2009 Started of kinda rough for my part, with girlfriend breaking up with me and myself in a state of (dis)content. However, with the help of my friends, it made me realize that I am so much more then that. Right now I feel better about myself and I'm happier with my life then I've ever been before. I hope to be able to continue this course through out the rest 2010. :)

Now I'm gonna whine some more about my broken legs! XD

Peace out!

/Hike

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Tribute #7: The Creeps

The MarblesPosted by Hike Thu, December 17, 2009 02:28:28
Lately, I've been thinkin' 'bout you baby
Now everything is crazy
And I confess your freakin' me await and see
So come on in and get right underneath my skin
I gotta little feelin'
I no exactly where you've been
But I'll still stay

Now that we've got it
Get on the dance floor
We're gonna rock it
'Cos that's what we're here for
You were a creep and you've been keeping it nasty
But now you want it
And your ready to ask me

You're looking tasty (tasty)
I think I wanna take a bite (aah)
Theres something going on tonight
So tell me is it black and white
Wrong or right

Now that you've got it
Get on the dance floor
We're gonna rock it
'Cos that's what we're here for
So make a move before I do something drastic
And hit me up cos baby you look fantastic

"I'm here waiting
No hesitating"

Now that we've got it
Get on the dance floor
We're gonna rock it
'Cos that's what we're here for
Now that we've got it
Get on the dance floor
We're gonna rock it
'Cos that's what we're here for

"I'm here waiting (yea yea yea yea)
No hesitating (yea yea yea yea)
No more faking (yea yea yea yea)
Do it to me now (now now now)"

Now that we've got it
Get on the dance floor
We're gonna rock it
'Cos that's what we're here for
You were a creep and you've been keeping it nasty
But now you want it
And your ready to ask me
Now that you've got it
Get on the dance floor
We're gonna rock it
'Cos that's what we're here for
So make a move before I do something drastic
And hit me up cos baby you look fantastic

Freaks - The Creeps

(So hit me up..! ^^)

/Hike

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Ups and downs

The BackyardPosted by Hike Sat, November 21, 2009 14:19:42

Last couple of weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster. I had my first really bad day in a very long time this week. I just felt out of synch with my life, a sort of hopelessness feeling. Luckily it didn't last more then a day, but yeah, I can live without those.

I also got to answer form to job interview(s) I had, and they decided to hire a guy who already worked there before, however they also said that if they needed more people they would consider me. We'll see how that turns out in the end...

Lately I've felt that I'm struggling a bit with keeping balance in my life, which is why I actually felt so bad the other day. I got it in perspective, but it's still something that I have to watch over, to make sure that I don't "fall back".

At least I have some plans and I'm working towards them. :)

Peace!

/Hike

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The Sex Syndrome

The MirrorPosted by Hike Tue, November 10, 2009 04:56:29

(The changes of body and mind)

So the good trend continues; I feel better then ever. The job I talked about it my last post, I was called to a second interview and it went just as well as the first. They said they would let me know this week whether I get the job or not. I'm fairly sure I'll get it. :)
I'm try to spend time with the people I truly care about, which truly makes the days fly by. :)
I've also started meeting a lot of new, interesting people and it perhaps that which have helped me reach new heights more recently.

I've focused on myself a lot recently, making sure that I'm enjoying myself to the fullest. However, I'm also trying to improve myself to the best of my efforts, and this is here meeting a lot of new people comes in. I'm reading and watching "self improvement" books and movies/documentaries but there's only so much you can do on your own. So I started to search for likeminded people, and now I've actually started to meet and hang out with them. Don't worry, it's not some cult I've joined, just a community with people who strive to become better and live a more fulfilling life, helping each other to do so and have fun while at it. :)

Now, since I've started to incorporate as much as possible of that I learn into my life, I've been noticing some changes. One of the most prominent changes I've noticed, and has become a slight problem (due to the situation I'm in) is that my sex drive has gone through the roof. This is not helped by the fact I'm trying hard to limit my amount of... "self relieving" XD. Now, it has it's upsides as well; it has increased my so called "natural attractiveness" (which is why I'm doing this in the first place), something I've noticed while out clubbing. :)

But yeah, it's one of those things I find a bit difficult to get used to, but I believe that it will pay off (more then it already has) in the long run. Besides, I got some "relieve" some this past weekend, which also let me try out some stuff I've learned and see what I can do better. (Hey, I'm trying to improve every facet of my life, and that includes my (future) sex life as well). ^^
Oh, and if you whom I had sex with reads this (which I think she will ^^), the night we had was NOT some kind of experiment for me. Just rest assured that if we have sex again (something I hope for) it will most likely be better then an already great night. ;)

But yeah, the goal to become better will always be there, so it's all about the journey for me. And I plan to bring as many people with me as I can. :)

Peace!

/Hike

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Fun-sucker

The MirrorPosted by Hike Thu, October 29, 2009 05:30:11

(Some recent insights... or such...)

So the time right now is a bit over 5AM as I started writing this, I'm currently blasting Clubland X-treme Hardcore 2 (Disc 2) at an insane volume through my headphones... and I feel absolutely great!

Since I wrote my last post, I've felt incredible good about myself and the way things looks in the near future. I even dare to guess that I'll mange to get my finances straight now that I was on a job interview just a couple of days ago which went very well. They said the would let me know how it turns out sometimes this or, more likely, next week. I have a good feeling about it anyway. :)

However, I've noticed a disturbing trend. Now that I'm seem to getting happier, it feels like those closes around me are getting more bummed out. They feel tiered, they're having trouble at work/school... in short, they seem to have a harder time.

And it sort of feels like I'm sucking the energy and fun out of their life to fuel my own. Might sound crazy, but it's just the way it feels. And what's worse is that I don't feel like I can do much to improve their situation. I want to use the positive energy I have to influence their life for the better, not suck it out of them. At least they tell me that they appreciate that I'm there for them, so I guess it isn't all bad, but still... wish I could do more.

Anyway, I'm going to keep up with the things I'm doing right now, because it's working for me. I've never felt this... well, alive, in a long time. :)

Now it's time for bed though. My diurnal rhythm is messed up, but I still need to sleep. ^^

Loads of love you all!

/Hike

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Tribute #6: Something About Us

The MarblesPosted by Hike Sat, October 10, 2009 04:41:31
It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway

I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you

I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life

Daft Punk - Something About Us

(Somehow, this struck a cord with me tonight... guess I'm just tiered... :))

/Hike

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